What would be
the most annoying thing in the world? Well, there might be a variety of
possible answers, but I am sure that one of them is electric wires of electronic
devices. That’s why the word ‘wireless’ is considered very innovative and often
used in advertisements. For instance, when we see wireless headphones or
wireless televisions, we feel so new and fresh. However, I can definitely say
that in the next 77 years, seeing devices with wires in normal days will become a
rare experience for most people.
Generally, there
are 2 uses of wires. First, wires are used when connecting two devices for
informational exchanges. Wires of this use are decreasing day by day. For
example, applying Wi-Fi technology to smartphones and laptops is letting people
get rid of wires for LAN. Also, a few clever industries are putting this into their
products such as printers. In the next few decades, Wi-Fi technology that can be
applied to other kinds of devices will be developed, and will let all sorts of
gadgets be connected to computers or smartphones. Users will be able to easily
manipulate other devices around only if they can get access to them. For
example, people will not need wires when using hard drives or USBs. Computers
will be connected to big screens without wires, when giving presentations.
Wi-Fi will enable connections without wires. |
Moreover, air conditioners, washing machines and even lights can be connected
by Wi-Fi to computers and work as a remote controller. The only problem with
this is their higher costs. Wi-Fi available electronic devices will be more
expensive than normal ones with wires as they would contain special signal receivers
inside them. Therefore, if a new strategy to lower the cost of producing the
receiver is found, this technology will soon be commercialized and put into
common use.
Second, people
use wires when charging electronic devices by plugging them in the electric
outlets. While many industries are interested in solving the first problem
above, they usually consider wires for charging are inevitable. However, there
is a brand-new technology that is being developed and published. Applying
electromagnetic induction, gadgets that need no wires but a special device that
induces electricity are being commercialized.
Problem with this technology is that users need to put the
gadgets on the device or else it will not be charged. Another technology that doesn’t
even need this device is also being researched, but this is facing its hardship
now since charging efficiency is much lower and its biological safety hasn’t
been granted. However these small problems will definitely be fixed and will
soon be available in markets. If this technology is combined with increased
battery capacity, use of wires for charging will drop drastically.
There are
several possible benefits from drop of wire usage. Firstly, cost of initial
resources will decrease, as massive amount of copper (and other metal resources
in it) and rubber will be saved. Plus, air pollutants and CO2 produced when
burning those will disappear as well. Lastly, people will get less annoyed as
they do not need to make efforts or spend time in arranging screwed wires to be
neat and clean.
I’d like to conclude my essay with "equation of invention".
New Devices invented + Wires]
Wires are often very useful and come in
handy, but they are nothing more than a by-product of electronic devices that occurred
in lack of technology. It’s time to eliminate unnecessary products that often
disrupt the experiment from the equation as we have enough reactants to do so.
The 21st century is here, and world with wires will soon withdraw.
It's such an interesting equation! –I mean the equation of invention. - I think it can also be a good way of writing a TOEFL essay to make 2 big points in the body and break them down into smaller paragraphs rather than mentioning 3 points in the body part. However, I think your essay would be a bit neater when there is a clear separation between the caption and the essay itself.
답글삭제Your essay is well written because it is focused on wires. Instead of providing a broad overview, you chose to narrow down your subject matter, and I think that that contributed to your essay. I'm not sure this is advisable in TOEFL essays, but your unique organization was striking.
답글삭제That being said, I wasn't sure what you were talking about in the CHANGES to this century. Wi-fi is interesting. But instead of talking about what kind of changes this would bring, you instead discussed the wonders of wires. I think the essay would have been much more relevant had you connected your subject matter to the prompt. :)
I really loved your intro!!
답글삭제Focusing on the idea of 'Wireless' was good.
However, as this TOEFL job's topic is 'the changes that 21st century will bring', it would probably be better if you gave some more ideas about changes in the future.
Also, as I'm using Wi-Fi and wireless printer right now every day, isn't it too near future you're talking about?
Other than these kind of little problems, this essay was pretty interesting.
Always your like your dramatic writing styles!!:D
HI 진욱!
답글삭제This is John from your 10V2 class!
I think your essay is the best one that I have read so far. I really liked how you focused on 'wireless' talking about many things that are wirless thesedays and in the future. I see your essay is very well organized as you are focusing on just thing and giving specific examples and detalis. Also, I liked you making some sort of equation at the bottom of your post that can fully contract what you are about to say this as a whole. But one thing that I wanted to tell you after reading this essay was to use the word 'will' less in the essay. Even if your writing about the future events it would be better writing about the specific developments about the wireless concepts that have taken so far without saying 'it will be this in the future'. Beside this I enjoyed your essay and See YA!